The Wetter

'I’m a wetter,' he declares,

proudly ticking the yellow box.

Politically speaking,

he’ll hack you apart.

He’ll stare you down,

but with the kindest of eyes.

He’s a genuine sort of fellow –

that’s what he wants you to believe.

He has taste –

I’m sure Ralph and Hugo would agree.

He’ll outdo you

in connections, ambition, and wit.

He’s the full package.

He’ll do the unspeakable

and more

to further his career.

But then again, can we blame him?

After all, dignity is overrated.